For Yankees Fans:

According to The New York Times, which is clearly the ultimate authority on Life, The Universe, and Everything, the Yankees suck.

“The Yankees have kind of sold themselves to Satan and brought in bad-feeling people like Randy Johnson and Giambi,” Mr. Mayer said, referring to the surly 6-foot-10 pitcher and the first baseman Jason Giambi, who was implicated in a steroids scandal. “The Mets have now become a more feel-good team.”

I rest my case.